Journal Entry:

I\’m going to start a new segment on here where I share with you a guys excerpts from various journals I\’ve had over the years. Some are funny. Some are insightful. Hope you enjoy!

In December-January of 2010-11, we spent six weeks on a house boat in the Amazon preparing for full time ministry. Here is an excerpt from my journal.

December 15, 2010
Amazonas, Brazil

Sometimes I don\’t like what God is teaching me. OK… Most of the time I don\’t like what God is teaching me. Things like selflessness, patience, unconditional love, doing all things without complaining, being content… and so on.

This trip has been challenging like no other trip I\’ve been on because it\’s the day to day. Generallly these trips are action packed exciting, and short enough to keep you full of energy… or at least adrenaline. This trip has been the polar opposite. It\’s been day to day, mundane, and exhausting. And we are here for another 4 weeks.

Before I came on this trip, I did the opposite of what I normally do: I prayed actually expecting God to do great and marvelous things. The problem is I already had preconceived notions of what those great and marvelous things would be: the water cistern installed, the men\’s dorm built, some major ministry strategy planned, doors opening left and right… So far? Nada. What has happened? The water cistern hasn\’t even begun and won\’t until more funds can be raised. The men\’s dorm wasn\’t completed. Between sickness, food poisoning, exhaustion, and Elliott, we\’ve hardly had an opportunity to discuss ministry at even a surface level.

So, I found myself asking, \”Hey, um, God? Why are we here again?\” Only to have Him tell me not to put Him in a box. That was certainly not the response I had anticipated. After all, I had prayed with faith knowing that He would do some awesome things on this trip…. right? In all actuality, I had prayed selfishly, seeking the result of His works and not the glory of His name. Touche.

To say I\’ve fully grasped this concept and can mark it down as lesson learned would be a lie. I\’m still discontent in my heart and trying to give glory in the mundane…. but admitting it is the first step, right? So at least now I\’ve realized my error and I can open my heart and mind up to what God does have in store. No strings attached.

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